Finally. 2

Finally, it came. The moment I’d been searching for.

The moment where I was, I am, enough.

Because I am.

I am enough for me, in my life, on my journey and I don’t need anymore.

I may want more. I may miss the way you smile, I might yearn for a baby’s warmth or a cozy home or a summer picnic or laughter at the end of the day. I might want it all, and I do, deeply, truly, soulfully.

And yet, I am not willing to lose myself to get it.

And that, that is the biggest relief of all.

Because I can stop trying.

I’ve exhausted myself with the effort of achieving, of creating, of controlling. And it’s time to rest now. Time to move slowly and thoughtfully.

Time to surrender.

I’ve done all the reaching and hoping and wishing that I can think of it. I’m ready to lean into the edges of my life, into the places where the story gets hazy and the ending isn’t clear. It’s time to recline into uncertainty.

Because there’s no guarantee, there’s no assurance that we’ll ever have what we want, or that our desires will come to life. I don’t know what happily ever after looks like. I don’t know what ’til death do us part means. I’m not even sure I could define true love. And that’s okay.

Some stories don’t follow a plot. Some hearts will always be a little bit mysterious. And some dreams are meant to change. For transformation is at the core of every human experience. And that’s what this is, the human experience.

So let’s take the long way home.

Take me down a winding road.

Let me fall amidst the white snow.

Let me hear the absence of leaves and the sparkle of stars.

Let me know that I am not alone.

I can love you silently and I can love you out loud. But the most important part is that the loving starts with me.

So find me on your path or not at all. Kiss me in the moonlight or send me away. I’m happy either way.

For a woman on fire with her own love, will always be loved.

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2 thoughts on “Finally.

  1. Reply erin Feb 12,2014 9:49 am

    Love it!!! Very personal writing.

  2. Reply james Feb 19,2014 9:05 pm

    love this poem – fiery, bold and true!

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