There’s a darkness here that begets the light.
It’s almost like twilight,
the revolving door where one becomes the other becomes the other, then is both of them and so merges into one.
I can’t tell you where I’ve been or where I’ve begun.
I only know that I am here now.
Yet, I’ve had this moment before and before and before, stretching back into eternity.
These waves tossing in the sea, merging into oneness and then rising up again.
Each human a watery wave, blending together, becoming the whole ocean of the ALL.
I often wish I could catch the exhale before the fall.
I want to mine that gap and meditate into true bliss but somewhere between it all I have the To-Do lists,
the laundry has to be done, the e-mails sent and the bills paid.
Yet, I know that my mind is the tool and the breath my vehicle.
So I work on riding into the now, turning on forever and catching up on eternity.
Oh wait, that doesn’t work if now is where we need to be, then there’s no catching up, just being complete.
But I don’t always feel so complete, sometimes I don’t want what is here, what is now.
I want bigger and better and wider and truer.
I want the whole ocean all the time, the longing turning into fulfillment and staying that way.
I don’t want the mystery and the not knowing and the trying to figure it out.
I want the answers now and the path made clear.
A compass that points the way to wholeness and never goes off course.
They say it’s the heart that is the compass, supported by the mind.
But my MIND is crazy and often times my heart is a wounded arrow that won’t go straight.
So instead I have to take the imperfect, the dirty, the messy, the confusing.
I have to wake up in the morning and know that life won’t follow my plan.
The stars won’t align in the way I tell them to and other humans will surely not behavior the way I want them to.
It’s a scary business of walking towards the light,
Because you have to pass by everything that’s dark, both within and without.
Witness the Maras for what they are and look them in the eye and say:
“I see you. I accept you.”
Sometimes it’s as simple and complex as that.
In this world, in this time, it is a path to freedom to see it all and
know that you are both of this world and not.
You are the wave that knows itself to be itself and simultaneously,
You are the ocean that holds it all, even the stuff you don’t like, especially the stuff you don’t like.
Because in the end, You, Me, We… are the ocean that knows that everything is ONE.