I wonder what it means and I constantly find myself surrendering to it.
For when I gaze into the future, looking for answers, I find only smoke.
The ashes are falling,
My mind is covered in debris,
And the only salvation I see coming is me.
They have all left.
the forgotten lovers,
the old friends,
the dark city nights,
the empty endless drives,
the mornings of confusion,
the moments of ecstasy,
and the years of heartache.
The past has blended into the future
and nothing seems real anymore.
I longed for it all and received emptiness.
So give me back my heart, it belongs to me.
It’s the only thing that’s truly mine.
All else will fade, disappear and reappear.
The ashes will reform like the phoenix, and the
fire will crumble and my life’s passion will grow
and burst a thousand times over.
And the rage will ebb and flow.
And the heart will break, sing and dance.
And love will pass through the gates of my soul.
And I’ll always miss you-
But I miss me more.
So I’m giving myself back to myself.
I’m taking the pieces I tore out and I’m mending
them together again.
It’ll probably take a lifetime, or two, or three,
but it’s worth it, this journey to wholeness.
To one day stand before myself and say,
“Yes, I’m home now and I’m still arriving.”
So leave the door open,
And keep the light on,
I’m returning now.